Shadows and Sunlight

SO I have been thinking a lot about shadows lately. And wondering when and why I started to stay in the shadows? I used to “dance in the sunlight” all the time. Why did I stop and why was it so hard to get started again? How many of us are hiding in the shadows?

Here are some of my thoughts…

In the shadows I am safe, protected, unnoticed. In the shadows I can hide and appear to conform to what I thought others expected of me. Not to say that there aren’t expectations, of course there are. I just wonder if they are not as rigid and concise as I believed them to be. There are some basic expectations we all need to live by of course, such as… Do No Harm (very important), and whatever you chose to do, Do Your Best. You know sort of the basic tenets of life. But what about the other things life beliefs and likes or dislikes?

As Children we have (or think we do) the freedom to express ourselves, to “dance in the sunlight”. AS we grow older, we still dance but with some restraint. Now we are given a set of parameters to dance within. We are taught the steps to the dance. A good thing to know so that we understand how society works.  But do we lose or take away too much freedom? Do we create boundaries and build walls because of fear? Do we do it to fit into society or is it out of fear? Fear of not fitting in, of not belonging, of being laughed at, of what others might say or think? It wasn’t so important when we were little, everyone just accepted everyone, so why now? Why and when did I become part of the “herd”? I don’t mean that in a derogatory way either. There is a certain amount of “herd” or community/family if you prefer that is necessary to live in society. But when did it start to rule our lives and choices?

I think it is a preservation technique that we learn in or about junior high. Peer pressure can be a powerful thing at times a wielded judiciously can be a good thing. But let’s face it in Junior high there was and is not a lot of thinking going on, it’s very hormonal. Some us still manage to walk to the beat of a different drum but not with out consequences. Some will continue out of defiance and some will simply be strong enough and the rest of us will come to heel out of fear.

The problem is the sunlight is always beckoning and it is hard to stay on the shadows. Eventually we will come back to “dance in the sunlight” if only for a few moments at a time. As I grow older I am starting to realize that many of the constraints set were my own. They were what I thought I was supposed to do, how I thought I was supposed to act. How I thought I was supposed to be so I could “fit in”. But I have always belonged (though it has taken awhile to realize that), Perhaps not where I thought I was Supposed to, but in my own way and in my own place. And by coming back to “dance in the sunlight” again, perhaps others will find me and join in the dance.

So Welcome back to the sunlight my friend(s)! If you need to stay in the shadows a little longer it is OK. And if you need to stay at the edge of that shadows that is ok too! I am here and waiting when you are ready to come and dance in light and love.