My Dearest Child

My Dearest Child,

The time has come to let go. It is time to let go of the hurt and anger. To let go of the pain of loss and allow yourself to heal. This is not to say that there will not come more times of hurt and anger, of sadness and loss, but it is time to let go of that which has already come and gone. Dear child I love as you are with all your greatness and all your faults. All of these things make you who you are, and who you are is special to me. Do not be afraid to admit that you are sad or hurt or angry, these are simply parts of life that come and go. Just as joy and happiness and laughter will come and go. My wish for you is that you will embrace all of these times in your life and let them just flow through and on. Do not hold them or hide them. Do not bury them, for then they will cause you more pain and grief. It is not wrong to feel them, they simply are, just let them be and let them go. HOLD ON TO THE JOY AND HAPPINESS! Your spirit is beautiful, as are you. You may not see this or even believe it, but listen to me I know, for you are my child and I love you. There is much greatness in you if you will only believe. Do not fear, that which has gone, or that yet to come, for I am always here with you. If you listen with your heart you will always hear me, even if I am not beside you. Find me, listen for me, for I love you and I am here, you have only to open your heart, and let me in. Remember always that you are a gift of love, and that you are loved, and most importantly that you are WORTHY of love. If you need someone to lean on I am here, simply call me and I will answer. If you have doubts remember that I believe in you until the doubts pass and you can believe in yourself again. My dearest child, it is time to let go. It is ok to let go, letting go doesn’t mean you will forget, it just means you are releasing the hurt. It is time to heal! The memories will remain but let the pain go, it is time to be whole again. Let it go my child. I love you and I will catch you, if you let me. Be at peace with life and be whole. My dearest child I love you now and forever. You are blessed and a blessing, remember that.

But mostly remember that I love you!

well my journey through shadow work continues. Monday, was my appointment with Lorraine. It was definitely an earthshaking experience for me. As we began to talk about the shadows I found my self shaking as if I had a fever and I was so cold. I don't think that shadows like to let go. I was overwhelmed by fear, fear of being judged for my "darkside". Really! from Lorraine? what was I thinking? She is one of the most non-judgemental people it has ever been my fortune to meet. and yet here I sat quaking in fear, for it was all fear. We pin pointed some target times in my life and the shadows or "trapped emotions" as Lorraine calls them and brought them to the light. There is a sense of great change in me right now. I am still processing all that went on but i think I can say that my soul is lighter. I have unfortunately lost touch with Spirit recently and so I need to get back in touch, that was part of my "homework" assignment. there was so much that went on and I don't even know where to start, other than to say it was very cleansing and I am still processing. There has definitely been a shift in my psyche. I left some baggage behind and took the next step in my personal growth or evolution. When I left I was exhausted but as each day progresses I feel stronger and more in touch with myself. More whole, perhaps. Well that is all for now, it is time to go work on my homework. Blessings!

Shadow work

shadows, dark and murky... those dark scary places that we tend to avoid. The areas that hold all our darkest fears, and deepest secrets. The place that we sweep all the things that we don't want to look at or deal with. Why? Why do we feel the need to be if not perfect, then at least good? Everywhere I turn lately I have been confronted with shadows, references to shadows, writings about shadows. Hmmm...think there is a message here? Well I decided there is and so I am on a journey to illuminate my shadows and chase away the fears. To explore my darker side and bring it to the light. To become whole. I must say that this seems like a daunting task and rather unpleasant. There are aspects of my personality that I have worked long and hard to bury and keep hidden. Not only from the world but myself as well. There is shame and fear and a feeling of loss of control as I begin this exploration of self. But if I do not do this then I will never be whole and will not be able to move forward. I will always be stuck in my present cycle of life. It would be so much easier if I could just say, " well it's not me" but deep inside it is. I may not have created what I am dealing with but some aspect of myself is there and being reflected back to me. There is so much good that I see, but I need to chase away the "demons" and bring light to the shadows in my life. For by bringing light, the shadows grow smaller and become less fearful. They lose power and I gain knowledge for they are here to teach me things I need to learn. To face my fears and accept me for all that i am. If I am to be truly accepting of others with all their glories and all their faults, do I not need to start with my own? What are my shodws you ask?

Well, loss of control is one. Fear of not being liked is another. fear of being selfish, fear of being overweight ( and I am), fear of being jealous, fear of being greedy or prideful. These are hard things to write, let alone admit to, but if I am to bring light to my shadows I must open the windows and air them out. and so begins my journey. I have a visit to Lorraine tomorrow and I have some reading to do. Probably some more journaling as well. I will try to keep you posted as my trip continues. If you wish to share I would love to hear from you as well.

In light and love!

Happy Halloween

Halloween or Samhain, whichever you prefer to call it is here again. This was the Celtic New Year, the ending of summer and the year. The beginning of winter or the dark season and the new year. A time of drawing in and contemplation, but fist a celebration to send out the old year with a bang. A time to honor the changing season, to show respect for the ancestors. This has changed in some aspects but in many still holds a touch of the old ways. Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. I love the sights. The sounds, and the smells. The air is crisp and clean, nature has wrapped herself in beautiful colors of red, gold, and even some green still remains. The decorations and costumes are such fun. To throw off your daily persona and become who ever you would like to be for just a few hours brings back light-hearted memories of childhood. So here is wishing you a day filled with fun and laughter and night filled with fun and fright (only the good kind) if you wish it. Have a blessed and happy Halloween!

Regrets

Regrets...
We all have them, some are deeper than others. The thing about regrets is not to let them control your life. Don't let your regrets turn into guilt. Regrets are mistakes made, they are often
good intentions that just went wrong. No matter how careful we are or how hard we try we will make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them so that we do not repeat them. Do not let regrets consume your life. Look at them, learn from them, and let them go. Give your self a little time if you need it to wallow in it, to embrace it. Then let it go, because if you hang on to it then you have learned nothing from it. And eventually it will consume you. They say that life is full of regrets and while there may be regrets in life I don't believe that it has to be full of them. If we embrace the lesson that they teach us and release them, then life is simply full of lessons learned and not regrets. Just a thought for today.
In Light and Love

The Journey!

When I first began my journey I was desperately seeking someone or something to teach me what to do, how to do, what was right. Through this journey I have discovered that there is no one way to do, or be. It is all about finding you and what feels right to you. There will be moments when you throw your hands up in despair. And times when you dance with glee. But whatever emotion you face, it is all part of the journey. The journey is not about the destination, so stop worrying about getting there. The journey is simply about the journey and living each and every moment of it. It is about exploring not only yourself but the world around you. Remember as a child the awe of walking beneath the giant trees of the forest, or through a cathedral, or museum? Look for this feeling in everyday. Find that moment when you say, "AAhhh!" Don't be discouraged if you can't always find it, sometimes you won't. But simply by looking for it, you are experiencing more of life and your journey than if you are simply putting one foot in front of the other, with you head tucked in to avoid the blows of life. If you can find the ability to hold up your head, no matter what. To look for the beauty through laughter and tears. Then you my friend, are truly living your journey. This is not always and easy thing to do and there will be days when you simply tuck your head and place one foot in front of the other. I know I still do from time to time. But if you keep practicing it gets easier and the journey becomes an adventure, and adventures make great stories to share.

October!?!

October! Can you believe it? The end of the Celtic Year and the beginning of the new one. There is so much going on in my life right now, I am feeling a little tired and perhaps a bit overwhelmed. The park is almost ready to close only 2 more weekends of campers. The las one is the big hurrah with our Haunted Trail. I had a group of volunteers in yesterday that helped us to get most of it set up and ready to go. this has been such a strange year. What should have been one of the best years ever has been so mixed up and disconnected. We did win park of the year for our reagion so that is a testement to the fact that all the strain and struggle did not show to the outside world. I knew this was to be a year of great transitions, I guess I just wan't prepare for the direction of them. I have grown by leaps and bounds this year. Things that would have torn me apart and destroyed me a few years ago, I survived. Not without some emotional turmoil, but it didn't hang on near as long as it would have before. I am learning to accept and release that which I have not control over. I hope this means that I am become a better balanced person. I would certainly like to think so. I even realize that I need to thank ( perhaps only mentally) all the things or people who caused or were involved in all that went on this year. For without them I would not have grown into the person I am becoming, while I may not have enjoyed the lessons i have learned this year. They were evidently necessary lessons. Halloween or Samhain is coming! I have an author visit with the Lunenburg Historical Society on October 21st and another event? in McDonough, NY with the lovely ladies from the Tradition gone Wild Trading post. I can't wait! Then home for For a little Celtic New Year celebration with my daughter. See even when life has it's pissy moments, when I remember to look there is a lot of good as well!

Blessings All